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I want to start looking at your problem, Jennifer, by challenging your assumption that most people of your age are lonely.
Some people are lonely, I do agree, and it is a downside of ageing that there is shrinkage and loss.
It hardly matters what that is: it could be phoning a friend; walking out of the front door and going somewhere; arranging a future trip; signing on for a course; or volunteering your help – anything that takes you out of this gloomy mindset and reconnects you with the world beyond your door.
And this applies whatever age you are, whether you are a broken-hearted 20-year-old, a redundant 40-year-old, a divorced 50-year-old or a socially isolated pensioner.By cutting off this possibility at the start, you are trying to exercise total control and deny the relationship any spontaneity or surprise.There are other people like you out there, that’s for sure.And yet this isn’t enough: you want somebody of your own.This is a fundamental human want, and I see no reason why you can’t find it.All the references to “loving relationships and more” do not appeal to me. Do you know of an organisation I can pay to find a matching companion? I am sure you are not the only person who feels the way you do. You are the last person whose letter I am going to answer in this column because my tenure, by my choice, is nearly at an end.