Dating douchebags

The douchebags always break up with you and you’re constantly left in a state of total despair, crying, “Gosh, there must be something wrong with . Even if you don’t consciously go after douchebags, your subconscious is attracted to them.

It’s not that you’re not attractive, intelligent, interesting, fun to hang out with or fun to sleep with. Your inner most workings are attracted to the douche before you pick up on it 3, 4 or 5 dates in.

is about to star without checking my watch, and after years of practice I can FINALLY spot a douchebag a mile away.

I just secretly assume that they also use phrases like “Balee ‘dat! Source: WENNI always ask my beaus their stance on boob jobs, as a litmus test for their douchebaggery.

The correct response: “I mean, I def prefer real but if they make a girl feel better about herself, that’s cool.” The wrong response: “LOVE ‘EM!

Douchebaggery can be hard to define, but we're all familiar with that unmistakable feeling you get when that certain guy opens his mouth and the hairs on your arm stand up — douche chills.

Miraculously, these guys still get dates, and maybe you're one of the women who have fallen prey.

For whatever reasons you have this disease (Daddy issues, abandonment, previous relationship baggage or all of the above), you must do everything that you can to combat it or you will find yourself suffering from this ailment for the rest of your life.

Just because you’re young and still figuring yourself out doesn’t mean it will magically change one day.

It is for this reason that I seriously wish I was friends with Katy Perry. I’m not talking about lines of cocaine (although that definitely counts too) but rather well-rehearsed pickup lines.

John Mayer is without a doubt the biggest a-hole creepster in all of Hollywood (possibly the world) and I am itching to warn her that her new makey-outeyness with him will end REALLY badly. Per, read on and ask yourself “Am I dating a giant douche too? John Mayer actually hit on me once, sauntering up to me at our friend’s Christmas party and saying: “I just have to tell you, I've been watching you for the last 20 minutes and I have never seen someone command a room the way you do, even just sitting on the couch.

Your douchebag may have a heart, but he's just not mature enough to be a good partner for you.

So break free of the douchebaggery and move on to someone who gives you the chills—the happy kind this time!

I’ve met single women ages 30-50 displaying this behavior.

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