How can you tell when it is a fetish and not just attraction?A fetish is purely sexual and the person will be attracted to ALL people of that race/appearance regardless of the person.
Whether it’s your well-meaning family or your supposed-to-be-socially-conscious friends, sometimes people are going to say or do things that are fucked up.
And it’s your job – both as the partner and a fellow white person – to They’re your loved ones, so you probably know what will work best for them, but in my experience, generally turning their mistake into a teachable moment will be more effective than just whining, “Moooom.
That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.
So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.
However, if you can embrace these differences, then your romance can flourish. Fetish assumes that you are turned on by certain characteristics or things, such as people with a fetish for pantyhose or scat or whatever. It is a bit difficult to define the difference between a fetish and attraction.
You might even learn something too by stepping outside your cultural norms. We can’t help it if we have a preference for one type of look, such as one guy being attracted to skinny women with blond hair whereas another prefers curvy women with darker tones.
Whites are privileged in this society and having what they have serves as validation for a lot of people.
Successful minorities love to say, “You're privileged but I'm so smart and awesome and financially secure that I have the same, if not better, house, car, and woman as you.”Need evidence that some black men see dating a white woman as a sign of their success?
By comparison, attraction is often just the spark which initiates a romance. If they don’t think your interracial relationship is based on a fetish, they might think it is a status thing, or a “come up.”This is most seen in interracial relationships with white women and black men.