Overcoming the racial stereotypes and just being treated as a normal person is a big barrier. Chicks dig a guy with the ability to smuggle ET to safety. I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. Your wife can’t make more, since she’s a Japanese woman, but Oh, you sure can. Identical in every way – not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean.
Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Driving a sweet Mercedes through the middle of Shibuya. Then after we became friends he finally told me, “” Turns out I’d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year. “” So the deal is, if your wife has a job, she’s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m. Plus, now suddenly she’s pregnant again, and you need a car, and junior’s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, they’re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression.
Or if you’re desperate to get married and trapped in a place where no one else is available, well hey, prison wedding. Women have very real constraints and concerns in this society.
It’s by no means easy being a woman, of any race, in Japan. But here, I’m only presenting the male perspective. There’s a whole flip side to this story that bears keeping in mind.
Anyway, it’s not easy for foreign men; we just have ridiculously low standards. Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl – this was a couple of years ago – and we went to a Mexican restaurant. And we were hitting it off, drinking Coronas and laughing and making flirty eyes and then out of nowhere, and bear in mind this was our first date, she asks, Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again.
Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing.
Then a few months later, I met a Japanese girl in a club in Roppongi.
She was short and cute, and as the night progressed we ended up outside, walking down the street.
Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. But in the West, if you’re a handsome, well-spoken guy with a good career, you can date sexy, generative, and highly successful women.
Here, well, you’ll get something, but it’s unlikely to be someone on your same level. You know, I initially believed Japanese women were wild about foreign men. What’s really happening is self-selection: foreigners frequent places where the few women interested in foreigners all congregate.
That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. Even the ones who’ll endure it seem determined to lie there like slabs of tuna and wait for you to finish.
A few months later – and okay, I know this is kind of a theme, but that’s just how things worked out – I met this girl in a bar in Shinjuku and we ended up in a love hotel. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan.
Secondly, I’m by no means saying that “ Japanese women are like this.” Because, okay, some are also like “that.” So I know I’m painting with a broad brush, and naturally there are exceptions to everything.