Regardless of the reasons for becoming a “sandwich generation” family where grandparents, parents and children all live together, this newly formed family must develop House Rules.Pro-active families have most likely already developed chores and expectations for their children, and they should now develop new ones in response to the changes in the family.The commitment to each other has taught the importance of recognizing needs and priorities—and the newly widowed doesn’t want to compromise.
Consequently, the addition of the widowed parent means that the House Rules need to be adjusted to the new circumstances, especially emotional issues.
Usually, when a widowed parent moves into the adult child’s home, the current or dormant problems in the parent-child relationship get activated.
The good news is that the surviving spouse should NOT heed the family’s warnings. That spouse should begin by valuing all input—but also keeping an eye on why the children are not supportive.
Children, especially grown ones, might have difficulty “changing emotional gears.” They might not be able to imagine anyone else living in the family home or kissing the parent.
Anyway thanks for reading.-john While no one knows what a marriage was like, I think many people tend to think of a widow or widower as a better risk in terms of the fact that the marriage did not fall apart and you are alone for reasons totally outside you or your wife's control.
Outside of the dating issue, most people feel for your loss and I would hope that you have a support system because parenting alone is not easy.
Instead of singling out one person and seeing that person in a negative light, families can come together and write rules that build positive behaviors and beliefs.
Keep the focus on solutions-with-love rather than complaints.
A widowed partner who comes from a mutually satisfying relationship tends to take longer to find love.
That person knows what it takes to sustain fulfillment and growth.
And don’t forget that wildcard pair of luck and timing.