I practice yoga and meditation pretty regularly, love to hike, cook, eat, travel, listen to live music, read and learn about people (despite a shy streak) and why we do what we do.
I’ve talked my way out of a police station in **** (expired visa, nothing too terribly illicit), and watched a shaman do a smoke clearing (uninvited) in a bungalow I was occupying in ****. There’ve been *plenty* of humble moments too—so many that I’m now flushed just thinking about the first one or two that came to mind.
The stacks of guilt-inducing bedside reading include Dojo Wisdom for Writers, a few books from the library about nanotech, a couple of self-help titles and an embarrassing number of unread magazines—from New Scientist, New Yorker and Inc. And now that I’ve rambled, for all I know I could have deciphered your email address incorrectly (someone’s probably getting a big kick out of this if that’s the case), or you may have moved to Micronesia or gotten married—perhaps even twice by now—and forgotten to remove your ad from the Web. And I’d suggest she express some interest in the notee by commenting on specifics in his ad.”-Sandra Lamb“By not taking herself too seriously, this woman appears confident, which is attractive.
(Note: All of Brad’s intro emails follow a formula—he mentions something they have in common and ends with a question.)I noticed your profile and was intrigued. Is he looking to date or is he looking for a fellow entertainment critic?
Ask about her.”-Roman Griffen"Brad drops the conversational ball with the 'What did you think of it? He’s got to give her something to engage with."-Sandra Lamb“He starts off well because he volunteers info about himself, but I’d like him to add more before he asks another question.
Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.
Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.
The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.
The Joseph question is really broad; he should mention something specific about the show.
I might respond; I like to give people chances.”-Kendra, 30, New York, New York The verdict: Brad has a winning format and identifies with the profilee’s passions, but our panel agrees that he should offer up some specifics.
That way, she’ll know that when they’re sharing a bottle of wine after a show, they’ll be engaged in a lively discussion. Your words about supportiveness struck a chord, as did some of the other things you wrote.