I know the story books tell us that it’s better to stay together.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.
Instead defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
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She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes in when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.
If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.
A lot of misery is avoided with a respectful ending and opportunity to start again with someone else after a period of sincere efforts to fix a love relationship.
The point is, a triangle happens when two married (or simply committed people) don’t fix their marriage.
All three people in this triangular arrangement have their issues.
Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).It doesn’t matter how passionate the sex with the ‘other man’ in her life is, she is not leaving her husband.Usually at the beginning of such an arrangement, when the triangle is young so to speak, the ‘other man’ usually tells himself he likes this arrangement because he doesn’t have to make a commitment.Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.