Instead, make a point of being approachable and friendly.Wide smiles that reach your eyes (the “Duchenne Smile”) and open, welcoming body language can make a shy or introverted guy feel more welcome.
Showing genuine interest or honest appreciation in his accomplishments or hobbies can also help him overcome feelings of “What could she possibly see in me?
” And I do mean genuine; shy, geeky guys are perpetually concerned that people are secretly making fun of them.
This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.
Your instinctive response may be to play down your looks, and while this can work – there’s a reason why the “beautiful-after-all” trope exists; everyone likes the idea of the librarian who’s secretly model-gorgeous – it’s ultimately putting the responsibility on you.
She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.
If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?
There is no reason why you should try to force yourself to be someone you’re not in order to meet somebody else’s criteria.
Now, that having been said: you want to consider toning down your behavior somewhat.
The problem is that people seem to find this barrier before they get to know me, like they just don't want to make the effort to chat with me.