The next day he emailed me back and totally denied he’d been on the site since he’d met me.
I emailed him and asked him why he was still on the site.
I told him I was sad, hurt, disappointed, angry and taken for a ride.
But after a few months into our relationship, I did a random check and his profile was visible again.
But he seemed to be checking it only every few days.
I know I should have asked him face to face, but it is hard. People like him challenge your truths and browbeat you into believing the falsehoods by making you feel bad about yourself.
Technology means that these sites let other users know how active the person is on the dating site by letting you know how recently they have logged in.
Is he saying that it’s not him and that he has a ‘site sitter’ that checks in for him and waters the plants?
If you continue to keep your profile active, it means that you don’t have both feet in the relationship and are keeping your options open.
We all have a bit of baggage but when we wheel them out as something to excuse our behaviour or to keep us at a distance, it means that we are not good for a relationship.
I don’t deny that he’s had a difficult year but sometimes people try to do too much and it’s clear that he is not emotionally ready for a relationship.
Rather than wait for him to tell you, you should take the signs and the hint and don’t try to make a silk purse from a pigs ear.