Sexual purity in dating helped Dan and Sarah Driver, pictured here on their wedding day in June 2014, to make God the center of their married life and be open to children, they said.
God’s Word speaks openly of the pleasure of sex within the marriage relationship (Proverbs ,19; Song of Solomon 4:5; 7:1, 6-9).
We shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about what God wasn’t ashamed to create.
“Because of that, communication is free around everything else, because everything else pales in significance to her bearing a cross with me, and carrying me when I’m carrying my cross.” Carrying that cross is a privilege, said Sarah, 25, quoting from the nuptial blessing in the wedding Mass: “May her husband entrust his heart to her.” Sarah said she gave Dan the purity promise card she’d carried in her wallet since she was 14 on their wedding day, but learned about purity from him because he hadn’t tested her.
By upholding each other’s dignity they were called on to greater purity and love, Sarah said.
We made our expectations clear, gave them specific guidance and principles (not just rules), and told them we’d be asking them if they were living up to these standards.
This deepened our relationship, opened communication and created healthy accountability.
Dan had received grace since his conversion more than seven years ago, he said, but still needed healing for past sexual relationships.
“There’s a great intimacy there that is based on my woundedness,” he said.
Though there were sometimes nervous jitters as family members (and especially the young men) anticipated these sessions, in each case the time together was strategic, encouraging and rewarding.