Such is the case with the “sex through a hole in the sheet” rumor.
It was the day I’d long hoped for, marrying a nice Jewish girl. In fact, by the time we’d started dating, I’d given up on Jewish women, and my dream of a perfect Jewish wedding, altogether. The intense pressure I felt to date and marry within the tribe damaged my perception of Jewish women and my ability to be myself around them.
This information was pounded in from all directions, from rabbis, from my parents, my grandparents, Hebrew High School, Camp Ramah.
By the time I graduated, I’d still never been in anything approaching a serious relationship. She lived in New Hampshire, shared all of my nerdy hobbies, had a great sense of humor, and looked like a younger blonde version of geek icon Gillian Anderson from .
She had a great sense of humor, a wonderful smile, and an honesty that I found refreshing.
Whereas in some branches of religion sex within marriage is supposed to be primarily for the purposes of procreation, throughout Judaism it’s viewed as a celebration of and wife are supposed to enjoy each other, whether kids are the goal of the encounter or not.
Indeed, not making love to your wife can call rabbinical sanction down upon the head of a Jewish man or even provide grounds for divorce.
But even while my relationships with non-Jewish girls fizzled, I still didn’t have any other options.
Jewish girls often were interested in Jewish guys—many of these girls ended up dating and even marrying Jews; they just weren’t interested in dating high-pressure, community-survival minded, intense, and awkward me. While I was at school, I joined an online discussion forum where I began to chat with a non-Jewish girl named Alicia.
One needs to feel comforted one has made the right choice and is indeed upon the right path, after all.
Consequently, bits of wild misinformation about what goes on in the other camp often get circulated as truth because these tales serve to confirm the rightness of one’s own choice.
According to a Jewish “urban legend,” the myth derives from seeing Jews in religious neighborhoods hanging their “talitot katan” out to dry.