It is actually pretty ridiculous that someone who for instance, would have the cheek to tell you that they’re not interested in you, would see fit to exchange bodily fluids and ask you to engage in all sorts of sexual acts, when they could just skip on down the road to someone who they were interested in and leave you to put your time, energy and er, your bodily fluids elsewhere.
Unfortunately, there’s actually more than a few people out there who like the idea of sleeping with someone who seems crazy about them and believes that the relationship is going somewhere – like an effed up power trip.
You want to progress things and there is a niggling concern that they’re using you for sex, although you really don’t want to see it this way.
Every time these thoughts creep in, you remind yourself of when you were laughing a few weeks ago, or when you they talked about stuff they’d like to do with you (but have made no moves to), or when they said that they really enjoy your company.
After a date or few, you sleep together and feel like there’s an amazing ‘connection’.
Over the coming weeks and months you notice a pattern – after loads of calls/texts/emails and off the chains sex initially, it’s slipped into a territory where you don’t really know where you stand. One night, lying there in the afterglow of another good ‘seeing to’, you tentatively ask what the score is, or mention a forthcoming event that you’d like them to come to with you.
“I’m having a really good time you know, but let’s not ruin things. “Well…I just don’t want you to get all serious on me, because being honest with you, I’m not really looking for a relationship right now… ” Er, well no it’s not OK but what the hell are you supposed to say when you’re lying there naked in a room that reeks of sex?
Let’s just go with the flow.” You suddenly feel exposed and vulnerable. As I type these words, more than a few people out there are having sex with someone who they have more than a casual interest in, who is not interested in a relationship or isn’t even that interested in them.The BEST app to Meet & Talk with Foreign Friends Meet, Share, Chat with Global Friends!Global Network More than 1,000,000 Doonglers from over 150 countries and 3,800 cities wait for you.Not only are sexual organs poor judges of character, but sex should never be used as a basis for working out what the hell is going on in your relationship – if you’re defaulting to sex, it’s because it’s lacking on other fronts.It’s very difficult to gauge someone’s true character and intent immediately – time and experience demonstrates this.But once you discover that someone’s interest isn’t mutual and that they don’t want the relationship you want, it’s time to pull your pants up and flush them out of your life. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.