We snuck out late, after listening at our parents' doors to make sure they had fallen asleep enough to miss the noise of our cars leaving.
Arriving at the beach, it became clear that the weather was not conducive to hanging out. My friend Monica and her boyfriend, who had recently lost their virginities together, immediately holed themselves up in his car, and I knew they would be practicing their newly discovered hobby to help them generate heat.
This reassured me that the boys in my car would probably be tired too, so I waited outside in the cold, hoping to hear my car fall silent soon.
Eventually I was so cold that I was sure my nipples could cut diamonds, so I ran back to my car and hopped in, but insisted that I was tired and it was time for bed.
Imagine my surprise thirty minutes later, when, after lying in the dark talking for what seemed like an hour, without warning, I felt her lips against mine. The next night, after driving to a friend's place in NYC, I audaciously reached down and teased her with my fingers, but she prevented me from pulling off her underwear when I made an attempt. We kissed, I fingered her, she ground against me for all she was worth — and then abruptly she was still.
It was just a quick peck, but it stopped me mid-sentence. "I can't help myself," she whispered in the darkness.
Soon though, we had to turn off the music and heater, because we knew that neither my gas tank or my battery would last through the cold night. When I didn't laugh the suggestion off, my friend looked at me more seriously, and asked if I would honestly be okay with it. We started with me making out with each of them in turn.
Partly because I still harbored hopes that he would fall back in love with me, and partly because I was sick of feeling more immature than all my friends because I was the only remaining virgin, I just shrugged and said "Sure." I took a few shots of the whiskey the boyfriend had swiped for the weekend to fortify myself (even though I hated whiskey). Then, because I felt more comfortable with my close friend, he went down on me while I kissed his boyfriend. Then, the process was repeated, but with each of them penetrating me this time."You don't want to go downstairs tonight, do you? She had a liberal attitude when it came to physical affection.All sorts of hugging and holding hands and kisses on cheeks were acceptable, which was very different from my upbringing.She hadn't acknowledged my interest, though, except to say that she wanted to be single after a bad experience breaking up with her last boyfriend. "A lot." "Me too," was her answer, and she leaned over and gave me a quick hug.I arrived an hour late, and as we were loading her luggage into the trunk of my '94 Volvo, it stalled out, so we were stuck waiting in the front seat until it would start again. I asked her about her vacation (she lived in Hong Kong, so any story was interesting), and told her about mine. In the darkness I fumbled for my keys and tried the ignition again; the car started and we headed for our college."I want your dick." I was stunned momentarily, but my instincts took hold and I started to fumble with my pants button in the dark. "You have to understand that I don't love you," she said.